ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
