I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
