and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
