i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
