Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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