he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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