Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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