the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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