Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
