Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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