you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
