So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
