is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
