I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
