I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
