I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
