I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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