is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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