Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the condom got lost in my hair
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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