Nicole vs. Life
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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