So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
