Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
