Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
