i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
