You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
