Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
