Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
