Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
