I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
