I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's blow job season.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
