we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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