Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
