She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
