So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
