Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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