My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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