don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
found the other keg... it's in the tree
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
