Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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