Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
