Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hippo gnu deer
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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