They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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