But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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