A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
