where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
