I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
