Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
