I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
