He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
