Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
