I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
