I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
